


Imagine Being a Tadpole Though

by petals42_tumblr (rosepetals42)



Series: Check Please Tumblr Fics [1]
Category: Check Please! (Webcomic)
Genre: Canon Compliant, M/M, POV Outsider, POV Second Person, Written after the kiss before year 3
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-01
Updated: 2016-08-01
Packaged: 2018-07-28 16:54:03
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,954
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7648954
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rosepetals42/pseuds/petals42_tumblr
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>You carefully don’t ask about Jack Zimmermann right away.</p>
<p>You know about him, of course you do, and when you signed with Samwell, you knew, intellectually that you would not actually get to play with him because, you know, he’s in the NHL now but you’d be lying if you said he didn’t factor into your decision to go to Samwell. Like, it’s Jack Zimmermann. You are going to get to play on the same team as Jack freakin’ Zimmermann. With guys who played with him. </p>
<p>Still, you carefully don’t ask.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Imagine Being a Tadpole Though

**Author's Note:**

> This was written after the kiss but before any Year 3 comics, so this Tadpole is not supposed to be Tango or Whiskey. He is just a little tadpole I invented for the sake of this story. 
> 
> original post can be found [here](http://petals42.tumblr.com/post/140214940189/imagine-being-a-tadpole-though).

You carefully don’t ask about Jack Zimmermann right away.

You know about him, of course you do, and when you signed with Samwell, you knew, intellectually that you would not actually _get to play_ with him because, you know, he’s in the _NHL_  now but you’d be lying if you said he didn’t factor into your decision to go to Samwell. Like, it’s Jack _Zimmermann_. You are going to get to play on the same team as Jack freakin’ Zimmermann. With guys who played with him. 

Still, you carefully don’t ask.

Partly because you want to seem cool, partly because you are busy trying to figure out how to survive away from home, mostly because, really, you can barely get a word in edgewise. The captains, Rans and Holster (you haven’t figured out their real names yet, you haven’t figured out _anyone’s_  real names yet) keep whipping out powerpoints explaining the complexities of collegiate level hockey culture and Bitty, a junior with a southern drawl so strong that sometimes you struggle to understand, keeps worriedly asking you how you are doing but then talks over you and shoves pie in your mouth so you can’t exactly answer. Even going to the sophomores, who you thought might be easier to pump for Jack Zimmermann information, is fruitless because you never can tell if Dex and Nursey are about to fight and Chowder would tell you, if you asked, but Chowder seems more overwhelmed to be back at college than you are. He talks a mile a minute about _everything_ \- his swawesome new room at the house, his girlfriend, bitty, bitty’s pies, the weather, his hopes for the season, how the food at the cafeteria is better he thinks, oh but not as good as bitty’s, and _just wait_  til pumpkin season, the pies!! and–

You gain precious little information for the first two weeks or so. There are a few odd mentions, mostly related to hockey at first (’ _dude, remember that sick shot our boy took from behind center ice last year at practice.’ ‘i do! i do! i wasn’t even mad I couldn’t stop it!’ ‘bet he’s doing the same thing right now off in the big leagues’)_  but other than that, nothing. And you are still to embarrassed to ask, even though you’ve never considered yourself shy. In fact, you are probably the most talkative tadpole.

Really, you are. You are the only one who dares to ask stuff in the Group Text (yes, it has capital letters, it is that important). Sure, it’s usually just questions such as ‘At the library, where are you guys?’ or ‘Sorry, what setting do I do my laundry at again?’ or ‘Please tell me I can still drop a class. I don’t know why I signed up for a math class in the first place. Please guys. Please.’ You’re not brave enough to join in on the chirping and jokes that break out every 15 minutes, but you figure saying _anything_  on a chat with fifteen plus hockey players is a brave feat. 

Also, you have no idea that _alumni_  are still in the chat. Also, for some reason, is does not connect that when a “Jack” answers: ‘Cell service can be spotty in the library, they are usually back by the geology section. No one goes there,’ that this might be _the_  Jack. Jack Zimmermann. 

In your head, Jack Zimmermann must have gone by “Zimms” (that’s what all his teammates who have done interviews are calling him, that’s apparently what he was called on the Q back in the day) and so you text back a quick “thx” to whoever has just helped you out and left it at that. 

Little do you know.

It takes you another week to finally put it together. A kid named “Shitty” has been blowing up the groupchat (you can’t really follow, something about gender roles when it comes to dress codes and heteronormative… something? rules? codes? you think they are bad whatever they are) and in the force of such a tirade, “Jack” says something like: Yes, shits, we know. Haven’t found anyone to rant at yet? to which Shitty replies: YOU FUCKING BEAUT THIS IS HOW YOU TELL ME YOUR BACK FROM CAMP??? SKYPE NOW FUCKER to which Holster replies: You guys don’t even go here! Plan your dates in private to which Shitty says Don’t worry, Holtzy, you can join us. Don’t be jealous, babe. Enough love to go around. Jack just replies: I’m free Tuesday night, Holster. 9pm? Tell Ransom too.

This all happens over team breakfast and stupid you has always processed out loud so:

“Oh, wait, shitty doesn’t go here anymore?” you say, frowning in confusion at the groupme. It’s called “Samwell MEN’S HOCKEY FUCK LAX DUUUDES” (at least it is today, it changes pretty regularly) so you figured…

“Nah, bro,” Ransom says. He and Holster are surrounding you today. They’ve decided that as captains, they must get to know every person on the team, which means taking breakfast to sandwhich an unsuspecting tadpole between them and generally talk loudly over their heads while hitting you on the shoulder often. “He graduated last year. Just can’t get him to leave the fucking chat.”

“He’ll be on forever probably,” Holster says. “Same with Jack. Though that may be because Jack has no idea how to leave the chat.”

“Some people just don’t leave the chat,” Rans tells him, shrugging. “Johnson graduated _two_  years ago and he still pops up every now and again.”

“Psh, don’t talk shit. Like we’re ever leaving the chat.”

“Wait, wait,” you say. Oh god, it’s coming together. You had gotten library directions from– “Wait, then who is Jack? Is that–?”

“It’s Jack,” Holster says. He looks at you as if you are a bit slow. “Other senior last year. Jack Zimmermann. Surely you’ve heard of him.”

You know your mouth drops open, you just do, and it’s embarrassing and you are gonna get chirped _forever_  but _hockey legend Jack Zimmermann is in a group chat with you and you just realized._ Oh god, he’d read that you don’t know how to do laundry. He- he-

You get chirped into oblivion and you are pretty sure your efforts at brushing it off with an “well, i don’t really care anyway” attitude fail, but at least you manage not to scroll through the chat _right then_  to see all the other things “Jack” has said that you have _ignored_  because you thought Jack was just some random regular dude.

You do scroll though. You actually sit in the back of your Intro to Psych class and scroll and scroll and-

Jack fucking Zimmermann. He’s been in here the whole time.

Usually he sticks to just “haha.’ when the chirping is particularly strong so he hasn’t said a lot but… Dex had been ‘forced to take a stupid history class’ to which Jack replied ‘History is cool. Try to get into Peterson’s. He’s good.’ Chowder had written a long text asking what to get his girlfriend for her birthday and all the boys had thrown in ideas (most were bad, _very_  bad) and after Chowder started to really panic (his texts got even more riddled with typos than usual) Jack had said: ‘Maybe flowers?’; Chowder had declared it ‘THE BEST IDEA EVERRRR’ and then after Bitty said he should probably get her those plus something else, Jack had said: ‘I can send gear if you want.’ and you hadn’t known what that was, but Chowder’s response had been completely in emojis.

One time Jack had sent: ‘Bitty, just getting out of the shower, give me 5′ and then quickly sent ‘Sry, wrong text.’ and you’d ignored it before, but there’s your clue. The one who talks to Jack Zimmermann, the one with _information_ , must be Bitty. 

You haven’t gotten to know Bitty very well because, well, you are a little afraid to go to the Haus. Mostly because when you do go, it seems to be an _event_. Like you usually get tackled by your captains and then Bitty bakes you a pie (like seriously, your own pie. From scratch) and you don’t want to be a bother. It’s- you are _too_ welcome at the Haus. It makes you feel like you should bring something. But the second week, when you confessed this to your mom and she suggested you bring over ‘Thank you cookies so you don’t show up empty handed,’ well… Bitty had looked at you as if you had just confessed to starvation and broken his heart at the same time and ‘Oh, god, darlin,’ oh god, you should have _told_  me’ and the cookies get eaten, but you wind up with a pie _and_  a batch of cookies because “no member of my team is going to eat store bought or my name isn’t Eric R. Bittle. You just come over whenever you need.”

So, plan “Be Polite” failed and you’ve been afraid to show up at the house ever since (even though, to be fair, it’s only been a week). You would try to talk to Bitty somewhere else but Bitty is _so much faster_  than you on the ice that you are never in the same workout group and there is a legitimate _battle_  over who gets to sit next to him at team meals. Bitty seems oblivious since he takes his time picking through the cafeteria food to “try to find something edible, sweet Jesus, what have they done to the potatoes?” so he usually sits down last in the seat they leave for him, but it gets pretty ugly in those 5 minutes: Rans and Holster claim they dont see Bitty at breakfast, so they should get to; Lardo usually glares people away; Dex and Nursey sometimes _need_  to sit next to him so they stop fighting; and if there are two empty seats and one of the is next to Chowder, Bitty usually sits there even if ‘THAT WASN’T THE PLAN, BITS!’ ( _I honestly have no idea what ya’ll are talking about most days, let me eat my protein in peace. Dex and Nurse, no fighting at the table._ )

Basically, if you want to actually get some Zimmermann stories to take back to your family, you are going to have to brave the Haus. The time, you try to play it more casual and drop by in the afternoon with nothing but a pile of homework. If anyone asks why you are there, your plan is to claim you need help in your Bio 101 class and get Ransom to explain things to you. It’s a good excuse, in your head. You are gonna be smooth, casual, and, as Nursey would say, totally chill. 

The plan both works and it doesn’t. 

You arrive, only to learn that Bitty is upstairs on the phone ( _pretty sure with his mom, but maybe not? dunno, dude)_  and that Ransom is on a break from all schoolwork ( _He can help you tomorrow,_  Holster says seriously, _Today, there is NO SUCH THING AS BIOLOGY SINCE SOME SENIORS CANNOT GO A MONTH WITHOUT WORKING THEMSELVES INTO A BREAKDOWN EVEN THOUGH MIDTERMS ARE YEARS AWAY_ ) but they are playing Mariocart and you get dragged into it and that is how you find yourself drunk for the first time in your life at 4pm on a Tuesday.

Bitty does come down eventually, scolds Holster, Ransom, and Lardo severely for getting you into this state (”ya’ll couldn’t have at least waited for the weekend? or _after dinner!’)_ but then goes to make “something to soak up all that alochol” and comes back with nachos and you think you end up telling him you love him but you have the drunk sense to not try to ask about Jack. That would not be cool. Or chill.

But it breaks the ice and suddenly going to the Haus isn’t so scary. You learn that Bitty literally _hunts_  for an excuse to make pies and so you are not, in fact, inconveniencing him at all and one time you bring butter, he gets so flustered and grateful, you think he may cry. So you start heading over all the time because you don’t particularly like your roommate (there were an odd number of tadpoles, so you got stuck with a non-athlete roommate and he’s nice but just not… you’re down not to spend time in your room) and the Haus is fun. Sometimes Ransom is stressing and he and Holster are holed up in their room and sometimes Lardo is locked away and only comes down to darkly mutter to herself about ‘fucking art and fucking paint and fuck art and fuck paint’ and more often than not, Bitty is on his phone for large chunks of the afternoon but it is rare that all these things overlap, and even if they did, Chowder is usually around and his enthusiasm makes up for it. 

So the Haus becomes your hangout spot and college gets less lonely and more fun and you still learn almost nothing about Jack Zimmermann. 

Well, okay, now that you know he’s just “Jack” to this group of guys (which, for the record, still makes no sense because _everyone_  on this team has a nickname and, in fact, sometimes have nicknames of nicknames), you do pick up a few more stories. “Dude, remember that documentary Jack made us watch a thousand times? I miss it. Should we watch it?” or “Maple crusted apple, bitty? The Jack Zimmermann Special! SWAWESOME!”

And, of course, you hear the fire extinguisher one. You hear that one multiple times. (And each time there are more lax bros and Jack gets angrier and at one point there are two fire extinguishers instead of one that Jack wields at the same time “like freakin’ Rambo, dude”)

Finally, finally, October rolls around. And with it comes Jack’s first game, which is an Away game and which is treated as if it is the Stanley Cup final.

The Haus hosts a watching party and you can’t be sure, but a new TV shows up just in time for the game and it sounds like Bitty produced it from somewhere (his parents gave it to him? or an uncle? all you know is it gets delivered and you hear him on the phone in the kitchen: ‘You really shouldn’t have, Mr- Bob. Really, we could have– Well, he’s been lying to you, sir, it only flickers every once and a while and– Well, yes, yes it will be nice to be able to see him and– Yes, alright, well you go ahead and expect a pie in the mail. Yes, of course, your favorite!’).

Bitty cooks a thousand things, more thing than can even fit on the coffee table and the entire team pulls on Falconer’s gear and opens beers and it is entirely insane. Holster, Ransom and Dex scream at _everything_  and Chowder quickly gives in and joins them (at least for the good parts, when something goes wrong, he just looks worried); Lardo mutters to herself, never really taking her eyes off the screen and Bitty- well, you can’t help but be surprised by Bitty. You sort of figured he would be a little distracted (as he usually is) by making sure everyone has food and making sure things don’t get spilled.and Bitty never really seems to stay still for long but-

But Bitty does not move the entire game. He does not speak, he does not cheer, he does not even mutter. He looks vaguely terrified and twists his hands together when the other team goes on a Power Play and when Jack gets checked in the second, he brings his hands to his mouth but doesn’t even gasp and when Jack scores and the Haus _explodes_  (you yell too, it’s sports, it’s contagious), you look down to see him still sitting, smiling so hard, tears in his eyes, but the next moment the celly is over and the game starts again and he is back to his quiet, intense staring that not even Holster has tried to break.

The Falconers win. They win and you have never heard such noise in your life and from outside, you hear a Lax bro yell something like “Shut up! It’s the FIRST GAME” but that just makes Holster and Ransom start chanting LOUDER and when you look over this time, Bitty is sprawling in his seat (they’d let him have the big armchair), taking deep breaths as if _he_  was the one just playing hockey and the others stop their self-control and lift him in the air, chanting “HE DID IT! HE DID IT!” and all at once, Bitty comes back into himself. Chanting and cheering and then “Oh, gosh, you guys ate _everything._  Look at the carpet! Let me down, Holster, I should bake a pie!!”

The cheering continues until the post-game interviews and then everyone shuts up as Jack Zimmermann takes the mic and it’s strange seeing him when you also know he goes by “Jack” around here and likes history and once gave you directions to the geology section of the library. His hair is damp and his accent is downright _strange_  to hear and frankly, he is awkward even though you think he is happy. Possibly. You can’t really tell- he quickly starts talking about working hard and the next game and when they ask him what he is going to do with the puck from his first goal, he sort of blinks like he didn’t expect the question at all (like maybe he’s forgotten he even scored??) and says “oh, uh, I don’t know yet. Keep it somewhere safe, I think.” Bitty doesn’t stay still for this part. He paces the room and jumps up and down and the whole team chirps Jack relentlessly (especially when he starts talking about the importance of hydration and resting) and then its over and there is a _party._  Everyone drinks and stays up way too late and Bitty leaves in the middle to go talk on the phone (the kid sure talks to his mom a lot), but comes back even _happier_  and for once, it is him telling people to stay and drink up and YES, he DOES want to play beer pong!!!

It’s nice. you like this. You hope it’s tradition- to watch Jack’s games together when you can. 

Unfortunately, the next game is a home game and everyone leaves. Because Jack has gotten all his former teammates tickets and you know you didn’t _know_  Jack and so obviously he would not get you _VIP Seats_  to his home opener, but still. Having to watch alone with the other frogs in a tiny dorm room is not the same. After that, your season starts in earnest and so it’s harder to watch them and, honestly, midterms happen and you miss a few games, but you are having such a great time with the guys _on your team_ , that you sort of forget you came here a little bit for Jack Zimmermann.

Which you take to mean, you are over your weird hockey-idol. Like, not over it, but you actually _are_  chill when it comes to Jack Zimmermann. You are a fan and you feel loyalty but you aren’t crazy about it. You don’t feel the urge to ask about every detail of his life anymore. You like Bitty and all the other guys for themselves rather than the fact that they are links to Jack Zimmerman. You are a cool and adjusted nineteen year old now, not a fanboy. You are practically mature.

It’s still a little bit of a thrill when Jack texts in the groupchat, but really usually it’s so often things like “good game guys” (after their first win) or “you played well. next time.” (after their first loss) or  “haha. nice.” (halloween) that you don’t have the urge to stare at them for extended periods of time and text all the guys on your high school team that you basically TALK to Jack Zimmermann.

So you are mature and life is awesome and you are actually pretty cool for a freshmen and–

And then Jack Zimmermann turns up at your door.

Well, not your door.

The Haus door.

But you are _there._

You are in the kitchen with Bitty and he is supposed to be helping you with your intro to american studies class because he took it last year, but he keeps getting distracted by baking and the beyonce album he has playing in the background and you’re not sure what you expected because Holster and Ransom had actually put Bitty on a two week baking-ban because “Bits, if you don’t get your grades up, you aren’t going to be _eligible_. Your adviser told the coaches who told us as your captains to handle this.” So you sort of knew coming in that maybe Bitty isn’t the best student and the best time to ask him for help isn’t when he’s scored an A on two quizzes and a B on all but one of his midterms and is just now allowed to bake once more, but you’re enjoying yourself anyway.

And then a knock comes from the door and Bitty frowns at it (because no one knocks. you aren’t sure the door even locks), but waves a hand for you to get it anyway. You stand and get halfway there and-

Turns out you aren’t needed, the door slides open as if the knock was just a warning and you are still just standing and-

Jack Zimmerman walks into your Haus.

He blinks as if _he’s_  the one startled to see you and you stare because, well, turns out you aren’t over your Jack Zimmerman _fanboy_  phase and your heart is suddenly beating very, very loudly and, once again, your mouth is doing that stupid hanging open thing and luckily, he sort of nods at you but then immediately looks past you and–

Well, you’ve gotten used to seeing Jack Zimmermann’s face as the team loves watching the post games and enjoys replaying his most awkward bits on youtube for days afterwards, but you are NOT used to seeing Jack Zimmermann’s face when it looks like _that_.

His smile is not forced or awkward and it doesn’t just last a second before flattening into a thin line. It is soft and happy and–

“Bitty,” he breaths and steps around you so neatly it’s as if you aren’t even there. And–

“J-Jack?” You’ve never heard that tone out of Bitty before either. And you’ve heard him when he found out that Beyonce dropped another single with a video and no warning. “You–”

“Had a few days off,” Jack says, still stepping close and Bitty sort of stares. “Figured I’d come say hi”

“You- you figured you’d…” Bitty seems dazed. Then “You MONSTER!” Jack starts laughing. Laughing right there. Jack Zimmermann. Bitty hits him. “You couldn’t even _tell me._  Oh, no, oh no, Mr. Zimmermann, this is – Stop laughing! I don’t- I don’t even have a _pie_  ready! I cannot believe–”

Bitty stops hitting him only because Jack wraps him in a hug and Bitty tries to keep yelling but his arms are pinned to his side and his face is mashed into Jack’s chest and just like that Bitty is maybe crying and you are still staring but they have clearly forgotten all about you because Jack releases Bitty a bit, enough so he can lean back and look down and-

“Hey,” Jack Zimmermann says, soft and sweet.

“Hey,” Bitty replies.

And you abruptly realize you have somewhere else to be.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading!


End file.
